Blogs, beginnings, and Being John Belushi

I can't shut the fuck up.  Seriously.  If your reading this you're probably well aware of this fact.  Because of this fact I decided to start a blog- at the behest of my good friend Schlomo.  I'm also plagued with horribly wrong opinions- hence the title: Ray's Matter of Fucking Factlies.  So when I write something you know to be absolutely incorrect you can think to yourself, is that a matter of fucking fact? Well it is to me asshole.  

 So despite what you think about blogs, maybe you'll find this particular blog slightly more entertaining than an OSHA safety film.  So Ok, I can't shut the fuck up, check.  So what?  Well, what do you do with all these thoughts and rants and stories that have no where to go?  Apparently you put it in a blog for people to read while on the john.  But where to start?  Well, the past couple of years has been interesting so I guess that's as good a place to start as any.  But before I  get there I should tell you that I'm "prone to embellishment" and anything you read here may or may not exist so don't read this and get all Matlock about the fucking details.  If I write that I am a Nobel Prize winning Jewish Paramedic from the Mississippi delta,  just let it go and No I don't want to join your Southern Paramedic's group on facebook.  Ok, so back to the beginning:

Cut to 3 years ago. I had been in Atlanta under witless protection for about 8 years.  Three years later I have moved three times (Las Vegas, Los Angeles, San Francisco) I have had 4 jobs, 3 motorcycles, 1 soap Box derby trophy, and no less than 0 DUI's.  I have not lied in the last three sentences, which I regard as personal triumph.  But the past 3 years have been  crazy and now I find myself in San Francisco and anticipating a whole new round of insanity.  I'd like to think of this blog as evidence for a case indictment being built by my friends so feel free to chime in and add evidence as you see fit.  I've been threatening to write down some of the things I say for a while now and this feels like as good a place as any to start. It won't be based in reality, it will be laden or "draped" with inside jokes that only three people may get, and will probably not make any sense at all but will probably make you laugh atleast once.   What does any of this have to do wioth being John Belushi?  Thats the inside joke I was talking about.