The Jim's don't get the John's

I was walking around he other day and I was trying to explain the difference between Jims and Johns to my friend Schlomo.  In my world, there are two types of men- Jims and Johns.  That being John Belushi versus Jim Belushi.  Same blood, same dna, but It's fairly easy to discern one from the other. The Johns of the world are the first guy you think of when your throwing a bachelor party.  John's are the guy you call to come bail you out of jail or help pop start your motorcycle.  But more than any of that- John's are the dangerously unpredictable "match in a fireworks factory."  Anything can and usually does happen around and because of the Johns.  The Jims on the other hand are fuckheads that become investment bankers or realtors.  They have kid friendly apartments and homogenized relationships and when you mention The Minutemen they look at you like "wtf?"  I've spent the better part of my life behind the 8ball with a Jim Belushi on the other side with a pool stick in hand.